A 2006 going on to 2007 advice from my Mom

During the Christmas season last year, I got several calls, text messages, e-mails, e-cards and cards laden with Christmas messages and goodwill messages for the year 2007. Some included Scriptures and I remember writing them down. I did and do appreciate them all. Looking back, the Season’s message that was most significant for me was from my mom. And it wasn’t written or typed out either… it was a heart-to-heart talk.

And I share this for somebody’s encouragement. Romans 15: 4

My mom, knowing my situation and my thoughts at that time, took me through Psalm 124, asking me to remember the LORD’s goodness and faithfulness to me in times past. The Israelites or should I say David (it’s a psalm of David, not so?) proclaimed the LORD and only Him in rescuing them and being on their side. They acknowledged that their Help was in the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. If the LORD had not been on my side, let Akofa say…..

Then she shared a second Scripture bit: Psalm 121. This, I was to hold on to in my future days, knowing that the LORD is my only Help when I skim through all people, things and places (Psalm 121:1-2). Day and Night the LORD watches over me and in all my going out and coming in. What a gracious God!

These two have truly kept me going this year especially Psalm 121. I know, my Papa God has been and is still my Help and my Protector. So I thank Him for His 24 hour Help and Protection. How sad that I’m unable to thank Him 24 hours here on earth for what He does for me!

So I thank God for my mom and her message and I pray that this will also bless you!!!
Happy New Year and may God Almighty be your HELP in 2008, whatever befalls you.

O God, our help in ages past,
Our hope for years to come,
Our shelter from the stormy blast,
And our eternal home.

Beneath the shadow of your throne
Your people dwell secure;
Sufficient is your arm alone,
And our defence is sure.

O God, our help in ages past,
Our hope for years to come,
Our guard while this world’s troubles last,
And our eternal home.*

* The first two stanzas and the 6th stanza of the hymn, O God our help. Credited to Isaac Watts (1674-1748).

Belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

I purposely chose to be a bit silent on Christmas day, because I know everyone will be busy on Christmas day with the 2 Fs: Family and Food. :) Yeah, food! I was too, cooking and eating it! :) But not silent enough to miss posting on my blog the entire season.

So…Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

My Season’s Message is published in the next post, so read on.

“Limbo” Relationships: Noncommittal Men and the Women who “love” them

One of the books I’ve been reading this month is Michelle McKinney Hammond’s How to Avoid the 10 Mistakes Single Women Make. One of things she writes substantiates my thoughts and predictions concerning Fair Lady’s relationship with her man, see previous post.

When a man is ready to make a commitment, he moves heaven and earth to put his life in order to accommodate the woman he has decided is the best thing since sliced bread. …..

It has been said that a man will do only what a woman allows. If you allow him to continue on in a noncommittal state, he will take full advantage of all that you have to offer without ever committing more of himself to you or the relationship. .....

It simply becomes an issue of what we choose to allow or disallow. When you act as a wife before you are a wife, chances are you will not become a wife. You have given the man nothing to aspire to. Page 164. (Emphasis added)

My Fair Lady is just one of the many who has allowed a man to take full and undue advantage of her and now, she can’t get her man to commit officially. Though she acts like a wife, she doesn’t feel like a married woman, thus her confrontational attitude about getting married.

Michelle Hammonds advises in the next page,

Whether your issue is sensitive or not, don’t allow anyone to waste you time or your emotional energy on a relationship that will not profit you emotionally or spiritually in the end. I realize that many hang on, praying that their man will someday wake up and smell the coffee. See the light or otherwise you will be sorely disappointed to find these long, drawn out relationships fading to black like a bad movie.

From godly counsel and observation, such men hardly smell the coffee. I wonder…., I doubt... (at the risk of appearing glum) that Fair Lady’s man will smell her coffee either.

Prophecy to Determine Marriage Status???

As part of my looooooong deserved vacation, I spent 10 days in Kumasi, one of my dream places. I went to braid my hair in a small kiosk of a very pretty, respectful lady. The braiding took the whole afternoon and most of early evening. Though my hair didn’t come out the way I would have liked, I was struck by the braider’s beauty and her painstaking diligence in getting my hair done.

I noticed she had a Good News Bible tucked in her things but I didn’t comment on it. In Ghana today, it seems everybody is professing to be a Christian, or so I thought.

Late afternoon, a beautiful, fair-coloured lady, whom I will call Fair Lady, walked into the Lady Braider’s kiosk with tales of marriage ceremonies she had attended over the weekend, including her brother’s. In her rich, deep voice and with an aggressive attitude, Fair Lady lamented that she had attended countless marriage ceremonies over the years and especially so, this year. Thus by hook or crook, she too must get married in 2008, otherwise she might have to advise herself with regards to the current relationship she is in. She also alluded (this is the part that got my sensors fired up), that she needed to have a prophecy from a pastor/prophet so as to determine her marital status next year. I was both surprised and amused at the conversation between Fair Lady and Lady Braider. Lady Braider’s soft-spoken response, “Everything has its own time. Your time will come and you too will be married,” won my added admiration for her. Unfortunately, Fair Lady wasn’t comforted by these words and left the kiosk a few minutes later with the same belligerent attitude she came in with.

A few minutes later, wanting to revisit their earlier conversation, partly because I was in awe of her godly response to her friend and partly because I was just curious, I asked Lady Braider, “How old is your friend that she seems incredibly eager to get married?” My request for Fair Lady’s age was denied (In Ghana, age is considered confidential) but was given more information than I hoped for. (Now, I stand at risk of being accused of gossiping, but read on, Fair Lady and Lady Braider really do not concern me. It’s doubtful that I’d meet them again, ever. But the issues raised in their conversation, is what grabbed my attention.)

According to Lady Braider, (if the story is true) Fair Lady has a 6 year old child with a man, with whom she is currently living with and is providing him with all the “wifey” services. Oooh I see…. No wonder after all these years, the man doesn’t see the need to formalize the relationship and still doesn’t today. Now, it seems Fair Lady is fighting a battle in which she’s likely to loose. And now, she needs a prophecy to determine the future of her relationship.

So I commented that since Fair Lady had already gotten herself a “husband,” how could she expect God to provide the good and godly husband she now desires? And I have a feeling that this man is not motivated to marry her officially ‘cos she is already behaving like a wife. But then if the man is coerced to marry her (as Fair Lady’s attitude seems to portray) esp. without godly counsel, I can foresee avoidable problems in their marriage in the future.

I only wish Fair Lady would quit the relationship (I know it won’t be easy for her) and seek godly counsel. I also pray she would genuinely seek God, Himself and not just a “prophecy” to fix her relationship problems or to determine her marital status in the coming year.

Not that I’ve been in this situation before nor am I married; none of the above. Lady Braider also appears to be unmarried, but we both did and do acknowledge that waiting for and on God is the Best.

And know what I found out just about when my hair was done? Lady Braider’s signboard reads: God’s Time Beauty Centre. What an extraordinary, circumstantial reminder on an ordinary day.