Sunday 16 December 2007

“Limbo” Relationships: Noncommittal Men and the Women who “love” them

One of the books I’ve been reading this month is Michelle McKinney Hammond’s How to Avoid the 10 Mistakes Single Women Make. One of things she writes substantiates my thoughts and predictions concerning Fair Lady’s relationship with her man, see previous post.

When a man is ready to make a commitment, he moves heaven and earth to put his life in order to accommodate the woman he has decided is the best thing since sliced bread. …..

It has been said that a man will do only what a woman allows. If you allow him to continue on in a noncommittal state, he will take full advantage of all that you have to offer without ever committing more of himself to you or the relationship. .....

It simply becomes an issue of what we choose to allow or disallow. When you act as a wife before you are a wife, chances are you will not become a wife. You have given the man nothing to aspire to. Page 164. (Emphasis added)

My Fair Lady is just one of the many who has allowed a man to take full and undue advantage of her and now, she can’t get her man to commit officially. Though she acts like a wife, she doesn’t feel like a married woman, thus her confrontational attitude about getting married.

Michelle Hammonds advises in the next page,

Whether your issue is sensitive or not, don’t allow anyone to waste you time or your emotional energy on a relationship that will not profit you emotionally or spiritually in the end. I realize that many hang on, praying that their man will someday wake up and smell the coffee. See the light or otherwise you will be sorely disappointed to find these long, drawn out relationships fading to black like a bad movie.

From godly counsel and observation, such men hardly smell the coffee. I wonder…., I doubt... (at the risk of appearing glum) that Fair Lady’s man will smell her coffee either.

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